Today was the day I had been looking forward to since this day last year. On this day last year I went with Danielle, Brett, Krispy, Hambone (Steven/Waffles), DiGi, Pockets, Joey, Ronnie, Josh, and Gnorski. I got to the school with two fridge packs of pop in my backpack: one Mountain Dew and one something else, and I had Lime Cokes for myself. I went with Joey to Pockets’s house and we waited there for a few hours. Once Pockets was ready, we headed out past the school, behind the U-Haul, and into the woods to get to the quarry.

The quarry is a really pretty clearing. It’s huge, and there’s a giant rock wall to the left of the entrance by the U-Haul. On the right there’s large rocks that we all sat on, and directly across from the entrance there’s a little pond with contaminated water. All the rocks, the ones on the side where we sat, had names. There was one called Fuck Rock, and Piss Rock, which were both on that right side. Shit Rock was on the completely opposite side of the clearing. We blew things up in the fire, retrieved a snowboard Joey found back behind the water, drank soda, and Brett and DiGi threw Joey’s shopping cart over the edge of the cliff in honor of his leaving us for Pennsylvania. When Gnorski, Krispy, Joey, Waffles, and I went over on the other side of the water to get the snowboard (I don’t know why all of us went; to catch each other, maybe), Krispy found a ham bone and decided he really liked the word and wanted to give it as a nickname to somebody. So Krispy dubbed Steven to be Hambone instead of Waffles and he gave him the ham bone. (Hammy actually wore the thing on a string like a necklace for a little while, until somehow he lost it.)

DiGi almost fell over trying to get the cart back up after they dropped it and it got caught on a tree. When he got it back up all of us down in the quarry clapped, and the sound echoed so it was like the quarry was clapping back. So we clapped some more just for the sound. Brett pissed over the edge and they threw this roll of paper down and it stretched out like a flying accordion. We burned school papers, binders, and a cap and gown, too. And everyone was smoking something down there except for me. Gnorski was going around with a 3 liter filled with pot smoke telling people to shotgun the bottle and take a sip of the soda.

After we were done, we all went up on the park side. Krispy had parked there, and Gnorski took the front seat, Hambone sat on one side of me in the back and Joey sat on my other side. Gnorski was wearing a red bandanna around his head and when we stopped at a red light a black guy came over holding his bandanna out and asked Gnorski if he was a Blood. Gnorski flipped out after we started going again so bad that the bandanna ended up getting thrown out the window by Joey. When we got to the house Gnorski tried to get Joey’s new snowboard out of the back of Krispy’s trunk. I think Krispy hit the gas, and Gnorski ended up somehow hitting his head on the half-open trunk door. I wasn’t completely watching, since my bladder was distracting me and I wanted to get in the house and use the bathroom.

Pockets put Gnorski in charge this year, since this year he was the one in that group graduating (since Pockets and Joey had graduated, and Ron, we found out, would never graduate, since he dropped out this year). As the year progressed I kind of figured he would screw it up or completely blow it off, because he’s amazingly unreliable and is always so “busy.” But the quarry had been something to look forward to the entire school year for me, and I had decided it would be the last hurrah before I cut ties completely with most of the people I know. Yesterday I was text messaging Gnorski and he said he would meet me before we got into the woods so I wouldn’t get lost, and then I told Danielle that she should meet up at the library with me so she could get there, too.

Well this morning at 7:30 Gnorski sends me a message saying he can’t make it. I asked him who was going, and he said he didn’t know. So I assumed the whole thing had fallen apart, but my optimism led me to send Hammy a message and ask him. I asked him if anybody was actually going, and he said he didn’t think so. “So basically, it’s not going to happen and I can go back to bed?” Yes. I asked him to call Danielle and tell her the thing was off but he didn’t respond to that message. I was going to call her but I fell asleep. I woke up at 9:32 and was freaking out for a second, until I called her. Her tonsillitis had flared up and she was still at home, so there was no harm done. I just told her how it fell through and then went back to sleep. I’m more pissed than anything that Gnorski shirked this one thing that he was supposed to do. He had an entire year to get it together and couldn’t even take a day to figure it out so that we could do it without him. And I thought we were supposed to do something special, some dedication or memorial to DiGi, but if no one went then it obviously didn’t happen. That upsets me.

But as far as I know, maybe the others did go. Maybe just Danielle, Gnorski, Hambone, and I didn’t go and Pockets, Ron, and maybe Krispy did. I won’t know until Pockets answers my MySpace comment eventually (if ever; he usually doesn’t). I had wanted to get some pictures of the place and the stuff we were going to do, but of course it wasn’t going to happen. Nothing amazing ever happens twice, especially when you hand down the responsibility to a home-wrecking polok. (Yes, it bothers me just a little bit, I admit it.)

So today instead of hanging out at Pockets’s house right now with him and Ron and maybe Hambone, I’m here, writing this. And after I’m done writing this I’ll be back to cleaning my room and seething. I am so pissed, but I am so done with him. The only people from that group I don’t want to completely cut out are Joey, Ronnie, Pockets, and Brett. The rest I couldn’t really care less about even if I tried. (Okay, Josh doesn’t count, because there’s no way for me to get in touch with him regardless. And of course DiGi..) Unfortunately, none of them talk to me, so it would be hard to not cut them out, as unintentional as it may be. So this whole group is basically, for me, going down the drain. And I guess that’s OK. Today was an end to these relationships that hardly hold enough water to be called friendships.

Back to my mess with me,

Sacha Lynn